Sunday, July 17, 2016

Believe In You

We have all heard the phrase before, “You are your own worse enemy” but how many of you believe it to be true? I sure as hell do.

In today’s society we are quick to blame the bully, the rejection letter, the boss, or whomever or whatever we want. I won’t even go political although I could. In the end it all comes back to you. Yeah, you the person reading this post, I see you.

My youngest daughter is going into middle school this fall. She crawls into bed with me one afternoon, because that is where I am stuck nowadays (again). We talk for a little bit before she says, “I hope no one picks on me this year.”

I sit up because a serious face-to-face conversation deserves respect. I turn her to me. “Honey, I hate to break it to you, but there will be bullies. There will be more bullied in middle school then there were in elementary school.”

Her eyes are huge. She’s frowning, about to cry.
I quickly continue. “Do you know why? And it has nothing to do with you?”

She shakes her head.

“When you are in a bad mood you do you take it out on other people?”

“Yeah, but I don’t mean to.”

“I know. You’re trying to learn to control your emotions and not let your emotions control you. Bullies are angry at themselves, at their lives, so they take it out on other people. They are scared so they lash out. You can’t take it personally because it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Just let it roll off your back. It’s not easy, but it will make you stronger.”

When we don’t let it roll off our back we let that negativity build up inside us. It becomes easier to believe, leaving no room for anything positive. This creates a cycle of self-destruction from an early age. It stands in our way. It makes us believe we aren’t worth the dreams we hold dear, especially women. Not saying men are tougher than women. I believe it is a hormonal thing. Which SUCKS!

How do we handle this? Well, I’ll tell you how I handle it. Yoga. Chocolate. Contradictions, I know. Mediation. Coloring. Spray painting. Writing (duh, figured that was a given). Reading. Movies. In other words I do things I love. Things that inspire me, things that make me feel like me. Not what someone else think I am supposed to be.

Notice I didn’t put down hang out with friends. I love my extended family and friends but I rarely see them. Not by choice, by chance. I don’t need to see them everyday to know that they believe in me. The hardest part of my day is believing in myself.
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  1. Brilliant. You are wise to teach your daughter to develop inner strength, compassion and empathy rather than to blame bullies for how she feels, how she reacts. Compassion and empathy help help us to not take personally someone else's sh*t.

    1. Thank you, Kitt. I believe in talking to my kids like adults; even when they were babies. There is no point in sugar coating life. Tell it like it is to prepare them for the real world. This way our children are less confused & more adapt to handle situations. Besides, better I tell her this today than a terapist 20 years from now. lol